somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think a kid would responsible me up
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
