but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
