I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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