Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
