there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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