Don't you send me to vm
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
