you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
