you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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