she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
nutella sex= disaster
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES