If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
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I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?