I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
