dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
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You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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