i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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