I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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