who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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