she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
