She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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