I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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