8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
