Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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