I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I skipped work to stalk him.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
