Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
