Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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