Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
