You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
