Sry I called you an 8
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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