so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
