I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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