Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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