Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
