Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
