honey bunches of taint.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
