I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
