i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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