You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
