If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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