If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
