I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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