it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
