It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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