hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
