sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
