Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
