Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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