I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
