Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
