Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
