So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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