Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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