So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
