I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
