So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
