I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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