How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So many bounce houses so little time
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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