If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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