She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
